3 wks absent..

1st of all sori guys.. been bz.. wif the newsletter.. even dao some pple online.. heez.. but yup.. its 90% ready.. hope u guys would like it.. muz thanx wyne for her help.. been the most helpful despite her exams..

okie.. nearly 3 wks since i blogged.. life's been more interestin.. had lots of time to do QT.. been walkin closer to him.. feels like i'm rid of alot of burden.. u guys shld do more qt.. its helps.. i've tried to do fastin as well.. been doing it for the past wk.. wad i did was not to eat lunch and spend tt time mediating wif God.. wad else have i done?? applied for uni.. hopefully i'll get in.. really need his help.. *prays*

okie.. i noe i've not been here long.. tt means no update of pix.. below r the betta pix since the beginning of this yr..

NYE..


Tom..

Bros..

Gathering..

Y??

Y she gets the prize??

had fun at west coast.. i'll rem my head on collision wif nick.. yup.. tt big guy.. pain.. too bad din play soccer.. too little pple.. anyway met new pple.. hope to meet them more.. wif the help of the newsletter.. i think pple will noe our activites betta.. i really believe this is God's plan..

Pictures from West Coast


Game Masters

Group shot

Where the cameraman??

Lalala

Posing

All gers

lastly is today.. Matt's b'dea celebration.. his actually b'dea was yest.. 25 feb.. in case u guys duno.. had fun at party world.. and glad he enjoyed himself.. esp the cake.. think he din expect it.. neither did i.. lolx..

Matt's B'dea


B'dea boy

Hazel wif Matt

Guess who sat on him 1st?

Proper Shot wif my eyes closed

Be M.E.R.Y.

Pro Killers

V??

Questions..

gt nth to say.. tt parade.. the date 24 july.. y do i think of it.. feel like a failure.. y din i make it?? wad abd life?? i'm nowhere at the moment.. nothing to anyone.. y is life so empty now?? wad can i do to make it betta?? no matter wad i do.. i still feel the same pain in me.. how do i get rid of it doc?? even when i smile.. it hurts.. the small wound tt is killing me.. the bleeding's not stopping.. will i die from it?? small yet fatal.. *ouch.. as much as i want to reach for the stars.. the pain stopping me.. how do i get rid of it..

courage will prevail in the face of adversity.. something like tt.. argh!! i cant stand up.. too tired.. too weak.. is this when God shows himself?? at the lowest pt?? is this even the lowest pt?? the sky seems so far away.. i saw a rainbow today.. its beautiful.. one of God's creation.. then.. am i his beautiful creation?? y do i feel ugly instead??

184 days to ORD.. but i dont wan to reach tt day so fast.. wad is after my ORD?? uncertainty.. can i get into Uni?? i'm prepared to not get in.. all along in life i've been failing.. how or wad am i going to pass?? i'm worried abt the future.. i need help.. HELP!! hear ur child crying out and answer his prayers.. it's been too long.. when will u come.. he's on the brink of death.. r u gg to let him die then bring him back to life?? muz the old go b4 the new comes?? how do u noe which is the new?? its the same flesh and blood..

feel so hapless.. which way to go?? i need help.. i dont even hv the strength to look after myself.. who will look after me?? and.. how do i look afer anyone?? feel.. useless.. all those facades.. always opposite of the real thing.. the real feelings r always hidden.. how to find them?? how to show them?? to whom?? y muz it be shown??

so many questions go thru my mind.. i wish i could be simple sometimes.. naive.. happy.. juz like when i was a child.. no worries in life.. but this cannot be.. pple grow up.. take on responsibilities.. become stronger.. the more responsibilities.. the weaker one is?? wrong.. one does not become weaker.. its juz tt the responsibilities become heavier.. muz one take all the responsibilities?? "cast all ur troubles unto me".. "do ur best and i will do the rest".. am i doing my best?? and if so.. wad is the rest??

i need the pillar of fire to follow.. or are my eyes blinded?? even so.. i can feel the heat rite?? i'm scared of the cold.. so shldn't i be attracted to the heat?? haiz.. so many things to answer.. do i still need IT?? tt IT tt has been missing for as long as i hv been on this earth?? let me find IT..