Messy

realised i haven read blogs for a long time.. missed out on alot.. feel so distance from so many pple.. surprisingly, been doing qt everyday.. and its really everyday.. wad i read abt has to do wif coming back to God.. so many things pointing the same way.. y?? but wad is god's plan for me?? duno.. i'm tired.. and really need to rebuild friendships.. can see every1 is slowly drifting apart.. but i'm glad to be able to tok to pple.. has my views changed after the recent nite's tok?? nah.. i feel the same abt u peepz.. (u guys noe who i'm toking abt)

did u 2 do wad i think u did?? okie.. non of my biz.. got so many things to think abt.. also been feelin empty.. where's the meanin of life?? each passin day and moment i feel bad.. bad tt i am wasting time.. but wad can i do?? wad r the things i can do?? my heart's lost at the moment.. wad i end up doing?? dota-ing.. haiz.. been irritated wif pple and i dun wa hurt their feelings..

dun u feel like ur at crossroads often?? to do or not to do?? to go or not to go?? this blog has no structure.. juz typin wadever comes to mind.. missed tokin to frenz.. to my buddies.. i feel very very far away.. things i wan let pple noe.. but cant say.. and i hope no idolt msg me sayin dun worry.. ur not alone or wadever shit..

there r pple i look up to.. not tt they r great or anything but bcoz of some traits they hv.. for eg.. those who smile dispite being hurt.. those who always encourage others all the time even when they r on their own knees.. basically i'm toking abt some1.. but who cares.. if its meant to be.. its meant to be..

who can understand me?? am i tt complicated?? all i need is peace at heart.. i noe u will say God is the answer.. but we all noe tt's not true.. we r humans.. we need to socialise.. so lost.. duno where to go and wad to do.. lost contacts wif old frenz.. and duno how to make new ones.. dun every1 feel like this?? y do some pple get everything?? even non-christians enjoy more things than christians.. so wads the diff?? eternal life?? in return u live miserably on earth?? going against wad u wan to do and do things only for God?? is this a trial?? i mean come on lah.. be fair can anot..

haiz..i'm sad.. when will my needs be met?? U noe wad i need yet u dun gif me.. y?? been askin so long.. this r the reasons y i wan turn away.. shld u be glad tt i dun?? to live in my own dreams would be wonderful.. think i will change this blog.. i dun wan some pple to read this.. esp those who will tok to me abt wad i wrote..

hypocrispy.. dun like it.. yet i got to live wif it.. sometimes i feel like swearin.. and i noe i will look damn fierce.. but will u not irritate me??

so after writing all these.. i duno wads the pt.. f*** it.. maybe i shld juz erase everything.. maybe.. erase the history of this person writing this.. lolx.. feel so sadist.. but then again.. its my blog.. gaga..

there's some1 i like but i wont say i like her.. coz.. so many pple like her.. y would she like me?? rie?? if u can guess who u r then come ask me.. if not.. carry on thinking..