reflections..

lalala.. was reading rich's blog.. God wont put u thru wad u cant go thru?? i wonder me ooc-ing.. was it all planned by him?? wad for?? hv i become stronger?? wad use came from it?? me getting closer to God, family and frenz?? well.. it seems i hv more time for everyone.. when i look at my parents.. i feel older.. like i hv so many responsibilities on my shoulders.. had a tok wif my dad in m'sia.. he said tt he wanted to bring me up differently.. well me and my sis r different.. i'm more of the risk taker.. she's not.. i'm more of a natural thinker ( i noe many like find it funi).. she's more book smart.. i'm not.. but i wan go SMU.. will i?? i pray God lets me in..

back to the way i grew up.. my parents din force me to study.. but i din go wild.. knew i had to make it to poly at least.. i did tt.. i din turn away from God.. actually i wanted to.. i din drift away like many neglected kids.. now tt i look back.. was it the way i was brought up or isit juz my character?? the i wont do anything God isn't proud of??

i would hv like my parents to forced me to study.. those IQ test i can get 130 plus.. find it weird i can think so well but unable to explain myself.. i lacked confidence.. alot.. i'm scared.. those i noe i dont look as if i lack confidence.. i juz look blur.. isit gd?? those closer would noe i am not wad i look like.. it could be this reason tt i look at the world differently.. observin whether there are pple like me and how others think.. then come to think of it.. me ooc-ing has made me more confident.. doing wad i dare le..

could it be i dont hv anyone to cry out to?? tt so much so tt there has been so much inside of me for so long.. wantin to come out like some hungry lion.. engulfin everything in its sight.. but i'll control.. i noe i cant let feelings lead me.. so wad can i do?? so much inside.. can i dream my way out?? wake up!! all i want for christmas.. is U..

sign off for now..

god bless all..